Sylvia Goes First: I’m Tired of Being the Friend Who Plans Everything
Sylvia goes first. The Circle is brand new, so I am opening it with something of my own. Stories sent in by readers are marked Reader story.
Every birthday dinner, every brunch, every “we should travel together this year” that actually becomes a trip: me. I make the group chat, I book the table, I chase the people who said “count me in” and then went quiet.
I love my friends. I really do. But lately I have started to wonder what would happen if I just… stopped. Would anyone pick it up? Or would we slowly turn into a group chat that only wakes up for birthdays?
Part of me thinks I should say something. Part of me thinks that would sound petty, because nobody asked me to be the planner. I volunteered. Years ago. And never handed the job back.
What I am weighing up
- Say it out loud: “I would love it if someone else planned the next one.”
- Quietly stop and see who shows up.
- Accept that I am the planner and stop keeping score.
Option two is tempting. It is also a bit of a test, and I am not sure friendships should be tests.
Your turn
Tell me in the comments what you would do. And if something is sitting on your chest, share it anonymously with the Circle. No name, no email, no account.
